On Saturday November 30th I was feeling very pregnant. My belly was huge, sleep had become next to impossible with trips to the bathroom every hour or so, and I quickly ran out of energy each day. As giant and uncomfortable as I was, I still hoped to keep Sully in a bit longer. I'd planned to work right up until he was born. And would have been perfectly ok with him coming a bit late, since that would have meant another pay check or two. Well, God had a different timeline in mind. Over the last few days of November I could feel my uterus contracting, but it was never rhythmic or painful so I didn't pay it much attention. I also just had a check-up on Wednesday the 27th and was only dilated a smidge over 1 cm and remained 60% effaced. Most first babies arrive after their due date so I had every reason to think Sully wouldn't be born for another week or more. My
doula Toni had warned me that what they measured at the check-ups didn't necessarily reflect when I'd go into labor. She said, "Your cervix is not a crystal ball."
Well, that Saturday night I was watching Netflix, probably
19 Kids and Counting, and thought to myself that I really want a December baby so this kid better stay put until at least after midnight that night. Matt was in the kitchen processing deer meat from a deer he'd shot the previous week. It was getting close to 11:30 when he told me I should go to bed so one of us could get up in the morning in time for church. I figured he was right, so I headed to bed. It took me a while to fall asleep and even after I did, I kept waking up with what felt like gas pains and my usual need to pee. At 4:00 am I awoke again with the gas pains, and figured that since I was awake I should try and go to the bathroom before falling back to sleep. Right as I stood up out of the bed, I felt a tiny whoosh of liquid. I knew I hadn't peed so I hurried into the bathroom. There had only been about a tablespoon or less of "water" so I was a bit skeptical that my water had broken. I wasn't really having any contractions yet so I thought about taking a shower. Toni had told me that it isn't really labor pains if you can take a shower and contractions stop, or if you change positions and they go away. I text Toni that I thought my water had broken and I'd keep her informed. At this point I think I was still in denial.
Then I went to tell Matt that I thought my water broke, but he told me I'd probably just peed on myself. I knew that wasn't the case, I mean a lady knows if she pees on herself. I decided to take a shower. I figured if it was labor, then I'd be fresh and ready for it, and if it wasn't then that would be one less thing to do to get ready for church in a few hours. In the shower, the contractions started. They were really low, in the front and at first were easy enough to breathe through. They were happening pretty quickly and after just a few, it was getting harder to ignore them. I actually had to hold the little bar in the shower to brace myself through them. I decided the shower was not the easiest place to labor, so I got out and got dressed in one of Matt's tshirts and a stretchy skirt. First I sat in our recliner, with a towel under me in case my water decided to "break" further. Then I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I tried out a few positions but found leaning over our upholstered ottoman to be the least uncomfortable. I wouldn't go so far as to call it comfortable but they don't call it labor for nothing.
I had recently found an app for my phone that you time contractions with so I'd been using it to record how frequent and for how long they were happening. My contractions were coming every 2 minutes for 54 seconds pretty much from the beginning. By 4:30 or 5:00 I had text Toni that I was having a harder time with contractions and if she could go ahead and come over. She said she'd be on her way so I went back to trying to breathe through the contractions. She also suggested walking around outside to help speed up labor. I only made one loop around the driveway before wanting to collapse back over the ottoman. Now let me just say, I knew labor was going to be hard, probably pretty painful, but I was having a harder time with it than I thought I would. With every few contractions I'd think, Okay, I'm 10 minutes closer to this being over. Time becomes a really weird measurement during labor.
Anyway, without going into too lengthy of a description, I stayed bent over the ottoman, sometimes pressing Sully down by leaning forward into it and breathed as best I could through each contraction. I labored on the toilet, in the tub, back on the ottoman, and the toilet, and the tub again. Toni was a huge help through all of it, pulling a warm towel she'd wrap under my stomach and holding it up during the contractions and massaging my back. I was back in the tub sometime after 9:00 am, by then I'd stopped keeping up with all the contractions; they weren't speeding up any, only getting more intense. I had one or two contractions that seemed spaced farther apart, and I dozed off in the tub. But then when they returned to normal timing they were so intense I was nearly coming out of the tub in pain. Matt and Toni would tell me to breathe through them, but this pain was past being able to breathe through it. When Matt was sitting by me, pouring warm water over my tight stomach, I told him I couldn't do it anymore, and I wanted to go to the hospital NOW and that I needed an epidural. I thought I was done with this natural birth business. Toni, and April (another doula who was there for the experience) were in the other room listening to me. Toni came and asked what I though they'd tell me at the hospital. I told her they'd tell me to push this baby out. Even though I honestly thought I was just wimping out and it wasn't really long enough yet, Toni said we could head into Tupelo since it's a 30 minute drive anyway.
Matt loaded up while April helped me get dressed again and to the car. Toni said if I wasn't feeling pushy by the time we got to Tupelo, that we could go to this old mall and walk around. As soon as we were in the car, I told Matt he better go straight to the hospital. That drive was kind of a blur. I remember the pain was the worst then because I was buckled in and there was no remotely comfortable way to sit. I remember that it didn't feel like we were getting there fast enough; and that my breathing was so shallow it made my whole body feel cold and tingly.
When we pulled up to the hospital I barely was able to tell Matt I needed a wheelchair. There was no way I could walk in. I was feeling quite faint by then. They brought out the chair, wheeled me in, asked my birthday and took me to a little sectioned off space with a bed and a curtain that went around it. The nurse gave me a gown to change into and I laid on the bed. Here comes the TMI section, so fellas may want to stop reading. I suddenly had a very strong urge to poop. Like a show-me-the-toilet-or-I'm-taking-a-dump-on-this-bed kind of urge. The nurse had left, for whatever reason so I told Matt he better get her back, NOW. When she came back I told her I have to poop! Pretty sure it was more like I yelled it, but who knows how accurate my memory of all this was. She said I had to let her check how dilated I was first and then she could show me to the bathroom. When she checked, she said I did not actually need to use the bathroom, I was fully dilated and ready to push this baby out. I told her I really really really need to push, but she kind of frantically told me don't push until we get you into L&D. I made no promises.
She quickly wheeled me back, they got me draped and stirruped and whatever else I don't remember and Dr. Hill came in. I remember being asked about how long I'd been in labor (since 4:00 am and it was then 10:30am) and telling someone I don't want an epidural, to which they responded with laughter and that I was way past that option. I think they were surprised I'd labored at home for all of that dilating. Anyway, it was time to push with the contractions. I wasn't really feeling too keen on the idea. But I guess once you make it this far, there's no turning back. A side note, the way I was laid up in the bed and with Sully in the birth canal, my hips really really hurt. It was a different pain than the contractions but looking back I'd wish I had the mind and fight to not have been in the bed. But what's done is done. And I might not have had the energy to stand or squat anyway.
When contractions came on, I did the best I could to lean up off the bed and push, but honestly it was just so exhausting, all of it. I don't know how many times I pushed but after a little while Toni was let back into the room and she and a nurse would help hold me up when I pushed. Then I'd drink some clear gatorade (they didn't even have the time to put in a saline lock, go me) to stay hydrated and because my mouth felt really dry from trying to breathe between pushing. I was beginning to feel done with this whole birthing process because it didn't seem like Sully was ever coming out. The doctor kept saying he could come out with the next push. But she said that a few times it seems so I kind of quit believing it. Finally I asked her if I gave it my all with the next push would I be done? She said I could be. So I sucked it up and pushed through the pain. And let me tell you there was some serious pain. Let's just say Sully had a big head and stitches were needed, though I never asked how many and no one said anything about there being a crazy amount of tearing so I knew it was just par for the course. Finally after a couple more pushes, Sullivan Thomas Adams was born at 10:57 am on December 1, 2013. It seemed so surreal when they placed him on my chest. My big, squishy, handsome baby boy. I remember Matt was beaming with pride which was so sweet to see. They wiped him off a bit and let me and Matt have our time with just him. After a while, the nurse came back in to weigh and measure him. We were all pretty curious as to how big he was. The kid weighed in at 8lbs 6.9 oz and measured 20 inches long.
I was very grateful to have the help of my doulaToni, my darling husband Matt, the great nurses and Dr.Hill, who even though I'd never met her before giving birth she gave off an old friend kind of vibe. Having a natural, unmedicated birth was in fact harder than I thought it would be but I would do it again. I knew my body was made for this and God intended it to go just how it did. Just under 7 hours of intense labor for my precious little boy.
